


The Vow

by fanficfanxx



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Amnesia, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Car Accidents, Drama & Romance, F/F, Falling In Love, Fluff, Memory Loss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-24
Updated: 2017-06-15
Packaged: 2018-08-10 16:53:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 15,706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7853302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fanficfanxx/pseuds/fanficfanxx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clarke and Lexa are crazy in love. So much, that they decide to move in together. Their near perfect relationship goes smoothly until a brutal car accident, which leaves Clarke in a coma. Lexa, is relieved when her girlfriends wakes up, only to find out that she suffers from memory loss and has absolutely no idea who she is. In her mind, she is still a law student in good terms with her family and she remembers being engaged to another man, Bellamy Blake. Although complety broken over the situation, Lexa decides not to give up hope and win her heart again..</p><p>This is based upon the movie The Vow (2012).</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So yeah I totally like the idea of this movie with Clarke and Lexa. I hope you like my set up for this story.  
> Sorry for typos. Gonna fix that later :) Enjoy it!

My theory is about moments, moments of impact. My theory is that these moments of impact, these flashes of high intensity that completely turn our lives upside down actually end up defining who we are. The thing is each one of us is the sum total of every moment that we’ve ever experienced with all the people we’ve ever known. And it’s these moments that become our history. Like our own personal greatest hits of memories that we play and replay in our minds over and over again.  
The moment of impact. The moment of impact provides potential for change. It has ripple effects far beyond what we can predict. Sending some particles crashing together. Making them closer than before, while sending others spinning off into great ventures. Landing them where you’ve never thought you’d find them. That’s the thing about moments like these. You can’t, no matter how hard you try, control how it’s gonna affect you. You just gotta let the colliding parts go where they may. And wait. For the next collision – the vow.

It was a winter and we had just gone to the movies. When they got out they noticed the snow outside the cinema. The sight was beautiful, all of the streets were covered with snow.  
‘’Wow, it was barely an inch when we went in’’ Lexa said with a smile.  
‘’It’s so beautiful Lexa’’ Clarke said, whilst she was holding Lexa close to her. The two of them had been dating for over 4 years now. Everything went well with the two of them and they moved in together about a year ago. Clarke was sure of the decision she had made, and she never had any regrets whatsoever.  
‘’It really is’’ Lexa said with a smile, before leaning in to place a kiss on Clarke’s head.  
‘’We should get going, if we want to get home before the roads are to icy’’ Lexa said.  
‘’You’re right. Let’s go’’ Clarke nodded at Lexa. After that they walked towards their car.  
Clarke sat down in the passengers seat, and Lexa was scraping the ice of of the car.  
Clarke was staring at Lexa through the front window and waved at her ‘’That’s good, come in’’ she said jokingly.  
Lexa got in the car and smiled at her girlfriend ‘’I’m freezing’’ she said with a grin on her face.  
‘’Come her you’’ Clarke said, after that she took Lexa’s hand and held them tight. ‘’Maybe this will help she said joking.  
Lexa leaned in for a quick kiss and after that she started the engine and drove away.

Lexa turned on the radio and put on their favorite song of all time, just a kiss from Lady Antebellum.  
‘’I know you like this song Clarke’’ she said teasingly.  
‘’Damn you’re right. I love it’’ Clarke said laughing out loud. Lexa knew Clarke so well and that’s what she loved about Lexa. Lexa was always there for her, no matter what. When they met 4 years ago, they had an instant connection with each other. They’ve only grown closer over the time. Now they’re inseperable.  
Lexa began to sing the song on the radio ‘’Lyin' here with you so close to me. It's hard to fight these feelings. When it feels so hard to breathe. Caught up in this moment. Caught up in your smile’’.  
‘’You do not like this song’’ Clarke said, teasing Lexa.  
Lexa laughed at Clarke, and began to sing even harder:’’I've never opened up to anyone  
So hard to hold back. When I'm holding you in my arms. We don't need to rush this. Let's just take it slow’’.  
‘’You have to turn it off’’ Clarke said, whilst she was smiling at her girlfriend who looked so happy.  
‘’I won’t do that’’ Lexa said, while singing along.  
Lexa began to rock along with the song and Clarke couldn’t stop laughing ‘’I’ll make you diner for a week, just please stop’’.  
Lexa stopped singing when they stopped before traffic lights.  
Clarke turned around to face Lexa, ‘’I have this theory, that people never break up when they get it on in their car’’ Clarke said seducing Lexa.  
‘’What?’’ Lexa asked surprised while staring at her girlfriend, who had taken her seatbelt off before she leaned in to kiss her. Both of them go into it.

Lexa was so distracted that she didn’t see the truck coming, who was driving towards them with full speed. The trucker wasn’t able to stop in time and hit the car with full power. The front window of the car broke and Clarke was tossed out of her seat through the front window. She hit the glass with her head and landed on the hood. Both of them passed out instantly. The trucker got out his truck and called 911 as fast as he could. The emergency services arrived as fast as they could.

Clarke was hurt pretty bad and was rushed into the hospital. Lexa was hurt as well and both of them were unconscious. The paramedics brought them to the ER. Both of them were brough into churgery because of their injuries.

The next thing Lexa remembered was waking up in the hospital. Lexa was taken back in her mind tot he moment when she first met Clarke. It was one of her favorite moments ever.

 

** _Flashback_ **

_Lexa walked into City Hall to get a new drivers license, because she lost hers on a holiday to Canada. That was the moment when she saw Clarke for the first time, standing in the waiting line in front of her. Her beautiful blue eyes lit up the whole room and Lexa was taken away by her beauty. When Clarke walked away when she got what she needed, Lexa turned around to look at her one more time. She smiled at Clarke and Clarke smiled right back. Lexa wouldn’t say it was love at first sight, but there was an instant chemistry, by just looking at each other from across the room._

_Lucky for her the two of them were destined to meet again just a few minutes later. When Lexa had received her new drivers license she walked out of City Hall to get her car. In that moment she saw the blonde girl waiting at the side for a cab. Lexa walked over to Clarke to offer her a ride to wherever she needed to go._  
_‘’Hey’’ Lexa said politely._  
_Clarke turned around to face Lexa, that was when she realized it was the same girl from just before ‘’Hello stranger’’ Clarke said with a big smile on her face._  
_‘’I see you’re waiting for a cab, huh?’’ Lexa asked._  
_Clarke nodded ‘’Yeah, I need to go home. But it looks like it going to take a while before another cab wil arrive. Luckily me, I had an appointment, but yeah looks like I’m going to have to cancel that’’._  
_‘’I can give you a ride home if you want’’ Lexa said, a bit embarrassed._  
_‘’I don’t even know you’’ Clarke said teasingly, while checking Lexa out. She looked at the athletic build brunette with those sparkly green eyes. The girl was hot as hell, Clarke had to give her that._  
_‘’But you will, if you come with me’’ Lexa said winking at her._  
_‘’Alright’’ Clarke nodded at Lexa._  
_Lexa motioned for Clarke to follow her and she walked back to her car. Lexa opened the passengers seat for Clarke before walking over to her side of the car. She buckled her seatbelt and started the engine. Clarke followed her and did the same._  
_‘’I’m Clarke by the way’’ she said with a smile._  
_Lexa turned around and looked Clarke right in the eyes, she could get lost in Clarkes eyes right away. Ocean blue, she would describe them as. ‘’Nice to meet you Clarke, I’m Lexa’’ Lexa said._  
_‘’That’s a beautiful name’’ Clarke said._  
_‘’Thank you. Like wise. Are you okay with me turning on the radio?’’ she asked._  
_‘’I’m fine with that’’ Clarke said with a smile._  
_‘’Alright. Where do I need to bring you too Clarke?’’ Lexa asked._  
_‘’Well I needed to go home for an appointment, but they just cancelled so I am free’’._  
_‘’What are you saying Clarke’’ Lexa said teasing her. Clarke seemed to flirt with her too, so Lexa wasn’t afraid to show herself to this perfect stranger._  
_‘’I think we owe it to ourselves to get a drink, outta respect for faith’’ Clarke said blushing._  
_‘’Okay’’ Lexa said grinning. ‘’I know just the right place’’._

_Lexa took Clarke to this perfect little coffee place. It was from her uncle Gustus. Lexa used to come there as a kid all the time. Her uncle was one of the most important people in her life. When Clarke and Lexa arrived at the cafe they had an instant click and it wasn’t long after that when they began dating._

 

It wasn’t long until Lexa was released from the hospital. She had been out of it for a few days but would be fine over time. Clarke was in bad shape and had an intracranial hemorrhage. What basically meant that she was bleeding inside her skull.  
‘’You know your girlfriends ct-scan showed intracranial hemorrhaging. We purposely keep patients with traumatic brain injuries in a comatose state in order to calm their systems and allow the brain time to heal itself while it swelling subsides. Then we slowly wheem them off. We can never tell what the damage is until a person wakes up. Some people heal over time, others don’t’’ Clarkes doctor explained.  
Lexa was listening to the doctor, but was so deep in her thoughts that she didn’t hear everything the doctor was saying.

Days passed by and Clarke was still in a comatose state. Lexa visited all the time to be with her girlfriend. But everytime she was there she got reminded of her memories with Clarke and the thought that it may never be the same again made her sick in her stomach.

About a week later, the doctors said Clarke was ready to be waked. Lexa was right there when that happened.  
‘’She’s going to be a little out of it, so give her the time’’ the doctor said.  
Lexa nodded, but didn’t answer because she was focused on her girlfriend. Clarke woke up a few seconds after that.  
‘’Hey it’s so good to see you’’ Lexa said relieved.  
‘’Clarke, it’s okay. You’re in the hospital. You’ve been in a car accident, you hit your head but you’re okay. We kept you asleep for a little while’’ the doctor said.  
Clarke opened her eyes, her head hurt ‘’My head hurts’’ she said to the doctor.  
‘’That’s perfectly normal’’ the doctor said.  
Clarke looked confused at everyone around her. ‘’Was anyone else hurt doctor?’’ she asked.  
‘’Uhum’’ Lexa mumbled, confused at Clarke. ‘’Clarke? You know who I am right?’’ she asked.  
Clarke looked right through Lexa like she didn’t know her. ‘’Uhm..I am your girlfriend’’ Lexa said worried.  
Clarke looked confused at Lexa, not knowing who she was. Lexa realised what was going on and couldn’t take it so she left the room. She walked down the hallway away from Clarke, when the doctor followed her.

‘’You said things were very good’’ Lexa said, not knowing what was going on.  
‘’Brain injuries aren’t predictable’’ the doctor explained while stopping Lexa in her tracks.  
‘’Due to the swelling, some impermeant can be normal’’ the doctor said, trying to calm Lexa down. Who looked upset about the situation.  
‘’Some impermeant?!’’ she spat out. ‘’She doesn’t remember me’’ she said while holding back her tears.  
The doctor tried to talk to Lexa but she couldn’t take it so she walked away from her dissapearing into another hallway, leaving the hospital.


	2. Parents

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa deals with the fact that Clarke can't remember her. In the meantime Clarkes parent show up and want to take Clarke with them even though Clarke hasn't spoken to them in years. But she can't remember that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like where this is going :) Sorry for typos! Cheers!

_‘’I have one piece. One piece. It’s not happening. Oh my god. I’m going to have to call them and tell them I can’t do it’’ Clarke said worried._

_‘’You’re going to be fine, Clarke’’ Lexa said with a smile. She knew what a talented artist her girlfriend was and she believed in her._

_Lexa grabbed a piece of clay from the table where Clarke was working on her piece and made it into a crabs claw ‘’Come to bed with me’’ she said teasingly._

_Clarke looked worried, but had to keep herself together, she had to laugh at Lexa with her ridicilious crab claw._

_‘’Come on. I know you want to go to bed with me’’ she said whilst she was closing the distance between the two of them._

_Clarke shook her head ‘’No, I can’t’’. Lexa laughed at her girlfriend and began to kiss her neck, this made Clarke fall of her chair onto the ground ‘’Don’t’’ Clarke said laughing._

_Lexa began to tickle Clarke and she fell down on the ground ‘’stop it’’ she giggled._

_‘’Okay. Okay’’ Lexa said nodding at Clarke before looking at her art work. ‘’I think this one’s coming along fine’’ she said with a smile. ‘’I mean, I know it’s not finished, but I’m already starting to see a mood. It’s got like a darkening curtain thing happening there and then a competing light element, there’’ she said while pointing at the sculpture from clay._

_‘’Mhhmm’’ Clarke said, while holding in her laugh._

_‘’It’s abstract, but I mean I don’t know.. I think it’s already powerful’’ Lexa said with a serious tone in her voice._

_Clarke looked at her girlfriend and had to hold herself together. Lexa noticed this and didn’t understand what was going on ‘’What?’’ she asked a bit confused._

_‘’You totally love me’’ Clarke said with a big smile on her face._

_Lexa nodded ‘’Yeah I do’’._

_‘’Yeah I know because this is my piece’’ Clarke said while turning around to the table behind her._

_‘’That’s the scrap pile, which I’m now saving’’ she said smiling at her girlfriend._

_Lexa felt a bit emberassed and her face turned a little red ‘’hmm’’._

_Clarke leaned in and kissed Lexa on the lips without saying another word. Clarke lay down on the ground and Lexa kissed her right back._

Lexa spent the next few days sleeping in the hospital. Hoping for some miracle. She was asleep in the waiting room when Clarke tried to wake her up. She poked Lexa in the back until she was awake ‘’Hi’’ Lexa said sleepy. ‘’What are you up to?’’ Clarke asked. ‘’Sleeping. I brought you some clothes’’ Lexa said, worried. ‘’Uhm thank you’’ Clarke said whilst she was looking at Lexa. She sat down on the back of the couch, where Lexa sat on ‘’Uhm..I’m kind of hungry’’ Clarke said.

This made Lexa smile because atleast her girlfriend didn’t lose her appetite ‘’Okay’’ she said. Lexa stood up from the couch, grabbed the bags and motioned for Clarke to follow her ‘’come on’’.

 

They walked down the hallway into the cafetaria of the hospital. There was a buffet, so people could grab their own food. ‘’So I just wanted to varify a few things with you about me, about us’’ Clarke said a bit uncomfortable.

‘’Great’’ Lexa said sincerally. ‘’Ask away’’ she smiled politely at Clarke while both of them were filling their plates with food.

‘’So we’re dating?’’ Clarke asked.

‘’Yes’’ Lexa nodded at Clarke. ‘’Yeah’’ Clarke said uncomfortable. ‘’And I have weird hair’’ she added.

This made Lexa laugh at her girlfriend ‘’I think that’s taking a narrow view’’ she said. ‘’You told me you didn’t want to spend much time on your hair because you’d rather spent it in your studio’’ Lexa said.

‘’My studio?’’ Clarke asked confused ‘’why do I have a studio?’’.

Lexa didn’t know how to answer this but did her best, she took a deep breath before answering her girlfriend ‘’You’re an artist. A sculptor, a really good one’’ she added.

Clarke didn’t understand anything of what Lexa was saying. It didn’t make any sense to her.

But Lexa tried to take away some tention and interrupted the silence ‘’Right now you’re working on four pieces for a hotel lobby’’ she said. ‘’Which is hug, everyone in town wanted that commission’’.

Clarke didn’t care about any of it, she didn’t understand ‘’But what about my law degree?’’ she asked confused.

Lexa didn’t know how to answer that ‘’Uhm’’ she mumbled. Clarke looked at her with big eyes ‘’I don’t have a law degree?’’ she asked surprised.

‘’I think you were a few credits shy’’ Lexa mumbled, while stocking her plate full with bacon.

Clarke didn’t understand anything so she took a few steps back and tried to deal with everything she couldn’t remember ‘’Last time I wanted to be an artist, was in High School’’ she scoffed.

Lexa tried to hold herself together and walked after Clarke who had already dissapeared to a table. So Lexa sat down across from her, not knowing what to say. There was a total silence between the two of them.

 

‘’I think you need to look at it like a win’’ Raven said to Lexa.

‘’Traumatic brain injury is a win?’’ Lexa asked sarcastically.

‘’You’re an idiot’’ Octavia added while throwing some paper at Raven.

‘’If she doesn’t remember who you are, then she doesn’t remember all the stupid shit you ever did. You can start over, wipe the slate clean’’ Lincoln said.

‘’I’m just worried.. If she doesn’t remember you, how is she going to remember that she is in love with you?’’ Raven asked worried.

Octavia hit Raven on her arm. ‘’What?’’ she asked surprised.

‘’I was frankly a little stunned she went for you the first time’’ Lincoln said teasing his best friend.

‘’If anything you’ve become less attractive’’ Raven said teasingly.

All off Lexas friend laughed at Raven for her comment. ‘’You guys are a great support system’’ Lexa said laughing at her friends.

‘’Seriously, though. What if she doesn’t remember me? Then what?’’ Lexa asked worried, holding back her tears.

Lincoln walked over to Lexa and sat down across from her ‘’She’s going to remember you. She’s going to remember all of us. We’re her family’’ he said convinced.

Lexa nodded at him ‘’Yeah. You’re right’’.

 

Lexa went by the hospital the next day to visit Clarke again. But to her surprise Clarke wasn’t in her room. Lexa looked around worried before she walked over a the nearest nurse ‘’Uhm, excuse me. I’m looking for Clarke Griffin. She was right over here yesterday’’ Lexa said worried.

The nurse looked in the computer to search where Clarke was ‘’Well it looks like they moved her to the V.I.P Floor’’ she said.

‘’That sounds expensive’’ Lexa said a bit confused.

‘’It’s a donor’s wing’’ The nurse said. ‘’Just go down here and take the elevator to the second floor and make a right’’.

Lexa nodded ‘’Okay thanks’’ she said before leaving the nurse behind. Lexa ran through the hospital to look for her girlfriend.

 

When she finally arrived at Clarkes room, she heard the doctor speak to Clarke ‘’Clarke, you’re long term memory is intact and I’m very optimistic the rest of your memory is going to improve with time’’ she said with a smile.

Lexa stood frozen in the doorway looking around the room for a second before the doctor noticed that Lexa had arrived. ‘’Missis Woods. I’m so glad you’re here’’ she said.

Two people turned around from the bed to face Lexa. Lexa had never seen these people before but she had an idea about who they were. ‘’This is bizarre’’ she said. ‘’I’m Lexa, Clarkes girlfriend’’.

Clarke looked up from the bed totally confused at the sight of this. She didn’t understand it.

‘’Do you know disconcerting it was to hear second-hand that my daughter had been in the ICU for weeks and we hadn’t been told’’ Jake griffin scoffed at Lexa.

Clarke looked at her parents and back at Lexa and she still didn’t understand, but she remained silent.

‘’You should’ve called us’’ Abby added.

‘’I’m sorry’’ Lexa said, feeling guilty.

Clarke looked around one more time before she interrupted the conversation ‘’You’ve never met my parents?’’ she asked at Lexa more confused then ever. ‘’I don’t understand. Why haven’t you met her?’’ she asked her parents.

Abby didn’t answer any of Clarkes questions and asked the doctor ‘’So, doctor. What is the next step?’’

‘’The sooner she settles back into her life, her normal routine, the better. Starting in a week or so I’m going to recommend that Clarke sees a neuro psychologist’’.

‘’Okay’’ Lexa nodded. ‘’Whatever she needs, therapy, specialists, I’ll make sure she gets the best’’ Jake Griffin said.

‘’You’ll come home where I can take care of you’’ Abby added, while she was holding her daughters hand.

‘’Mom can make up your old room and I can take some time off work’’ Jake said.

Clarke nodded at her parents, looking relieved.

 

Lexa didn’t want to be disrespectful but she didn’t understand any of it ‘’I don’t mean to be disrespectful, ‘cause we really appreciate that, but you heard what Clarkes doctor said, that she needs to go back to her normal routine. Her life with me is her normal routine.

 

Clarke looked around the room at her supposed girlfriend and then looked at her parents. ‘’Yeah, but that’s a life she doesn’t remember’’ Abby said a bit annoyed.

‘’She will’’ Lexa said. ‘’That’s what her doctor just got through saying’’.

Jake shook his head ‘’No, what she said was that maybe Clarke will remember’’.

‘’Now, why not let her come home, and recover with people that she knows?’’ Abby asked.

‘’And loves?’’ Jake added.

‘’We’re only trying to do our best for Clarke’’ Abby said.

Clarke looked up, she felt dizzy about all the conversation going on around her.

‘’That’s interesting, ‘cause you haven’t even asked her once’’ Lexa scoffed at Clarke her parents.

‘’Well..no but..’’ Abby tried to speak but Clarke interrupted them with her hands for her eyes. It was to much for her ‘’What I need is for everybody to shut up’’ she shouted at them.

‘’Listen none of this needs to be decided right now. I think you should all get home and get some rest. I’m sure everyone could use it’’ the doctor said worried about Clarkes well being.

 

Lexa went straight home after that and spent the rest of her day in bed, worried about her future with Clarke. Worried if they even would have a future to begin with. Her own girlfriend with who she lived together couldn’t even remember her.

 

Lexa went by the hospital the next day to get lunch with Clarke. They sat down across from each other. Lexa had no idea what she had to say to Clarke because it had been harder then she had expected it would be.

‘’How come your my girlfriend, but never met my family?’’ Clarke asked confused.

‘’You haven’t spoken to them in years’’ Lexa said.

‘’Why would I ever stop speaking to my family?’’ Clarke asked surprised.

‘’It all went down before we met’’ Lexa said, worried about Clarke.

‘’And we never talked about it?’’ Clarke asked surprised. ‘’No we did’’ Lexa said.

‘’So?’’ Clarke asked.

‘’For starters, you wanted to move into the city and go to the Art Institute. And your father insisted that you stay in Law School.  He had pretty strict views about what you ought to be doing. Things just spiraled from there’’.

Clarke didn’t understand ‘’Okay look, what I remember is being in Law School and being engaged to Bellamy’’ she said confused.

This hurt Lexa and for a second you could see it in her eyes. Of course Lexa still loved Clarke but she realised that Clarke didn’t even remember meeting her. Lexa pulled herself together after a few seconds and nodded at Clarke.

‘’I.. I don’t know’’ Clarke said before standing up from her chair before leaving Lexa behind.

Lexa got up from her chair and followed Clarke ‘’Babe, okay wait’’ she said, practically begging for Clarke to listen.

‘’The best thing to do at this point is to go back to your life with me. You heard what the doctor said. It’s the best thing for your recovery’’.

‘’Okay but I don’t know you’’ Clarke said worried, while taking a step towards Lexa.

‘’And I am just supposed to get in your car and live at your place?’’ she asked.

‘’It’s our place’’ Lexa added.

‘’Without any prove of us even being in love?’’ Clarke asked confused.

‘’Other than that we live together?’’ Lexa asked a bit annoyed.

‘’People do that all the time’’ Clarke said. ‘’Okay, like?’’ Lexa asked.

‘’Like for uhmm.. saving money?’’ she said.

‘’I’ve got enough money’’ Lexa said holding back her laugh.

Clarke looked confused but asked ‘’Did I keep a journal?’’

‘’No, not that I know of’’ Lexa added.

Clarke shook her head ‘’I just can’t’’ she said before walking away from Lexa and leaving her behind. She had to hold back her tears. This was going to be harder than she thought.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	3. Hurt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke goes home with Lexa but has a hard time dealing with all the time that she can't remember. Lexa deals with the pain of Clarke living her old life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Forgive me for what happens in this chapter. Trust me, I'll write a happy ending :). Hope you enjoy this story anyway! Sorry for typos :) cheers!

Clarke gathered all of her things the next day while her parents were waiting for her. ‘’I guess this is al she could find’’ Clarke said. Clarke didn’t really like the clothes she was wearing. She didn’t remember that she used to wear clothes like that.  
Abby stood up and walked over to her daughter ‘’Oh well, it looks fine honey’’ she said with a smile.  
‘’I mean we’re just going home so..’’ she added.  
‘’It looks horrible’’ Clarke said with a disgusted face.  
Their conversation got interrupted by the doctor who walked into the room ‘’Clarke?’’ she asked.  
‘’I understand you’re finally leaving us’’ she said politely.  
‘’Oh yes, that’s what they tell me’’ Clarke said a bit confused.

Lexa was in the hospital running towards Clarke in the meantime hoping to convince her that Clarke should come home with her. 

‘’So, no driving until I give you the say-so’’ the doctor said. ‘’But other than that, I’m going to see you in four to six weeks’’ she said with a smile before handing out her card to Clarke.  
‘’Thank you so much’’ Clarke said with a smile.  
‘’Thank you, doctor’’ Abby added. Before the doctor left the room.  
‘’Okay’’ Clarke said excited to go home.  
‘’You ready?’’ Abby asked. ‘’Let’s go’’.

That was the same time that Lexa walked in the room with prove that the two of them were exactly in love ‘’wait hold on’’ she said begging.  
‘’I got a voicemail’. It’s from before the accident’’ she said with a smile.  
‘’You said you wanted evidence’’ Lexa added, while looking Clarke straight in the eyes.  
Clarke nodded at Lexa ‘’Yeah, well let’s have a listen’’ she said to Lexa.  
Lexa nodded at Clarke and pressed the play button on her smartphone.   
That’s when the voice of Clarke was noticable excited on the voicemail:’’Hey baby. Ugh, I’m sorry, I’m still at my studio. I miss you so bad my sculptures are starting to look like you. So, what are you doing later? I kind of need some Lexa time, if you know what I mean. Yeah. Anyway, call me back. Love you’’ Clarke said before ending the voicemail.

Clarke looked surprised at Lexa. But Lexa thought this wasn’t enough prove, so got a worried look on her face. ‘’I don’t know, I guess I’m listening back to it, it doesn’t exactly prove anything’’ she said doubting herself.  
Clarke shook her head ‘’No, no..it’s..cute. I mean I sound happy’’ she said apologising to Lexa.   
Clarkes parent looked angry at Lexa for interfering. They didn’t want Lexa to take their daughter home and Lexa had noticed this since the moment they met in the hospital, but she wasn’t about to give up. ‘’Okay, look. Think about it. You quit law school, you broke off your engagement and you moved into the city. Those were all choices that you made, way before you even met me. I think that you owe it to yourself to honor those decisions, atleast for right now’’ Lexa said.  
Abby looked annoyed at Lexa ‘’This is a mistake Clarke’’.  
Lexa turned to face Abby ‘’I promise that I will take care of her’’ she scoffed.  
‘’Please come home with me’’ Lexa begged. ‘’We’ll figure this out together’’.  
Clarke needed to think for a second before she answered ‘’I guess I could just try it out, to see if it would help my memory and…’’ she said while looking at her parents, who were angry at Lexa.  
‘’Mhhm’’ Lexa said nodding.  
‘’I could always come home if I change my mind’’ Clarke said to her parents.  
‘’I moved in with her. That must’ve been for a reason’’ she said.  
‘’A guarded indorsement’’ Abby scoffed at Lexa.   
‘’I will take it’’ Lexa said with a honest smile on her face. She was relieved that Clarke wanted to come with her. To atleast give it a shot. 

About 30 minutes later they were on their way home. Well atleast, what used to be their home. There was an awkward silence between Lexa and Clarke.   
Clarke looked into the car mirror when she noticed a scar on her forehead right under her hairline ‘’I look like a freak’’ she said worried.  
This made Lexa laugh while she was driving, she turned to look at Clarke for a second ‘’I think you look great’’ she said with a smile.  
This made Clarke feel uncomfortable, so she didn’t answer Lexa.   
‘’Where do we live?’’ she asked surprised.  
‘’On the north side’’ Lexa said with a big smile on her face.  
‘’Who’s the president?’’ Clarke asked confused. She didn’t remember anything so she realised that she didn’t know that.  
‘’Of the country?’’ Lexa asked trying to hold her laugh.  
‘’Yeah’’ Clarke said with a deadly serious tone in her voice.  
‘’Obama’’ Lexa said.  
‘’The senator?’’ Clarke asked confused. She didn’t understand why he was president. ‘’Yeah you voted for him’’ Lexa added before turning her eyes on the road again.  
‘’I did?’’ Clarke asked surprised.

After an 20 minute drive they finally arrived at their house. It was already dark outside and Clarke had no idea where she was when she got out of the car. Lexa leaded her down a path to their frontdoor. ‘’Uhm welcome home’’ she said awkward before opening the door.  
‘’After you’’ Lexa said, letting Clarke before her in.  
Clarke looked around the room. When she walked into the livingroom she saw the lights out.  
‘’SURPRISE’’ A lot of people yelled. That startled Clarke. She had no idea what was going on.  
Clarke was overwhelmed by all the people that introduced themselves, it was too much for her so she left the livingroom soon after that to be alone. She didn’t know any of this people and she thought it was a stupid idea of Lexa.

Lexa was leading the people out of her house ‘’Thank you all for coming. I’m sorry it ended so early’’ she said feeling guilty about inviting them in the first place.  
‘’It’s alright. Take care, Lexa’’ Octavia said before pulling her in for a quick hug.  
Lexa closed the door behind them and tried to find Clarke. Who had been hiding from the crowd. 

She found Clarke in the bedroom who was looking through stuff, that were hers before the accident. She found some sketches of Lexa on a nightstand. It was a beautiful drawing.   
Lexa walked into the room and Clarke put away a parfum bottle, that she found.   
Lexa sat down on the edge of the bed before looking at her girlfriend ‘’Are you okay?’’ she asked worried.  
‘’What do you think?’’ Clarke said with a sad tone in her voice.  
‘’I know. It’s a lot to take in’’ Lexa said.  
‘’No’’ Clarke said angry. ‘’A lot to take in would’ve been coming home, to a strange apartment, with a girl I don’t know. That would be a lot to take in. But coming home to all of that, plus a house full of people, pulling on me, and hugging me, and crying in my face, and talking about more shit that I can’t remember, that’s not a lot to take in. That’s total bullshit’’ she said raising her voice at Lexa.  
‘’You’re right’’ Lexa said feeling guilty. ‘’It was only supposed to be a few people’’ she added.   
‘’Will you please just get out?!’’ Clarke yelled at Lexa.  
‘’Clarke, I’m sorry’’.  
‘’ARE YOU HONESTLY NOT GOING TO LEAVE ME ALONE?!’’ She yelled at Lexa.  
Lexa stood up from the edge of the bed and walked out of the room ‘’I’m sorry’’ she said with a sad voice before leaving Clarke behind.  
Clarke started to cry, everything was too much for her and she couldn’t take it. She knew Lexa tried the best that she could, but she just wanted to be alone. ‘’I’m so sorry’’ she said in tears to herself.  
Lexa slept on the couch that night because she didn’t want to upset Clarke more than she already had. She felt really bad for everything that happened. 

Clarke come out of the shower the next morning with a towel wrapped around her. She walked to the mirror and to her surpise she saw a picture of a tattoo. She turned around, when she saw a tattoo on her back. It was some kind of sign. ‘’Oh my god. My mother’s going to kill me’’ she said worried.

Lexa woke up a few minutes after that and sat down on the edge of the couch. She stood up and walked towards the bathroom to get a shower. That was when she walked passed Clarke who was standing in her underwear. ‘’Good morning’’ she said with a sleepy voice.  
‘’Goodmorning’’ Clarke said.   
Clarke made a funny sound before she covered her body behind one of her T-shirts. Lexa totally took her by surprise.  
‘’What?’’ Lexa asked.  
‘’You didn’t knock!’’ Clarke pointed out.  
‘’It’s habit. I’m sorry’’ Lexa said, still with a sleepy voice.  
‘’It’s not like I haven’t seen it before’’ she pointed out.  
Clarke started to laugh outloud ‘’This is not funny. Uhm, you should knock’’ she said a bit annoyed.  
‘’I’m sorry’’ Lexa said before dissapearing into the badroom.

Clarke walked into the kitchen about ten minutes later to find Lexa reading a newpaper while she was having breakfast. Both of them acted uncomfortable and didn’t know what to say. Lexa just stared at her girlfriend with a smile. ‘’You look nice’’ Lexa said gently.  
‘’Really?’’ Clarke asked surprised.  
‘’This is about the only piece of my clothing I feel comfortable in’’ she pointed out.  
‘’That’s mine actually’’ Lexa said with a smile on her face before taking another bite from her breakfast.  
‘’Oh’’ Clarke said awkward.  
‘’No. It’s fine’’ Lexa said friendly.   
Lexa stared at her girlfriend who was looking through all the kitchen cabines to find a mock.   
‘’What?’’ Clarke asked a bit confused.  
‘’Huh?’’ Lexa asked.  
‘’You’re looking at me like I’m some kind of zoo animal’’ Clarke pointed out.  
‘’Oh I’m sorry. I don’t know. I’m just trying to figure this out too, I guess’’ she said.  
Clarke walked over to the kitchen table to see a lot of stuff prepared for breakfast ‘’Wow, you normally do all of this?’’ she asked surprised.  
Lexa shook her head ‘’No. This is me saying sorry for last night’’.  
‘’That was such a bonehead move. I wasn’t thinking’’.  
‘’No please. I’m sorry. I don’t want you to worry about me, okay?’’ Clarke said with a smile.  
‘’Just go bout your normal routine and…’’ she said.  
‘’Do you work?’’ she asked surprised.  
‘’Yeah. Well that’s if I’m still in bussines’’.  
Clarke didn’t understand and looked with a confused face at Lexa.  
‘’I own a recording studio’’.  
‘’’Hmm, cool’’ Clarke said with a smile.  
‘’So what is my routine? What do I do all day?’’ she asked Lexa.  
‘’You usually get up and make coffee’’.  
‘’Alright’’ Clarke said before standing up and walking over to the coffee machine. But was stopped in her tracks by Lexa. ‘’No worries. I got it. I made coffee this morning. Well atleast I think’’ she said.  
‘’After the coffee you check emails and pay the bills. When you’re done with that you usually go to your studio until in the evening’’ Lexa said explaining everything.  
‘’I can take you down there if you want’’ she said.  
‘’No, you know what. We don’t have to do all of this right now. Just go to work, I’ll see you tonight’’ Clarke said a bit cold.  
‘’Maybe we can make flashcards later or something?’’ she asked.  
Lexa nodded. ‘’Are you sure?’’  
‘’Yeah’’ Clarke said while nodding at Lexa. ‘’I’m fine just go’’.  
Lexa nodded, she gave Clarke her smartphone and explained that her number was in their and after that she left for work.   
‘’Have a good day’’ Clarke said to Lexa who left the house a few seconds later.

Lexa got in her car and drove to her recordingstudio. She walked into the room to find her friend working. ‘’How is she doing?’’ Octavia asked.  
‘’She’s getting there. She will be fine’’ Lexa said.  
‘’I’ll see you at 3’’ Octavia said with a smile.  
‘’Alright. I’m going to change at home. See you then’’ Lexa said before leaving the studio to go visit a client.

Clarke had been looking through the house all day and stumbled upon a video of her and Lexa at the beach. They looked so happy. Lexa was craddling her girlfriend and whispered I love you in her ear. After that, Clarke noticed Lexa giving her a necklace in the form of a heart.   
‘’I vow to fiercely love you. In all your forms now and forever’’ Clarke said to Lexa, before the video ended.

Clarke left the house in the afternoon to check around the neighbourhood they were living in. She walked into a cafe, where Lexa had told her about. They used to come there before the accident. Clarke walked into the cafe and walked over the counter to order, when the lady recognised her ‘’The usual?’’ she asked.  
Clarke nodded ‘’I have an usual?’’ she asked surprised.  
The lady behind the counter nodded and gave her some chocolates on a plate.  
‘’Thank you’’ Clarke said before sitting down.  
After that she left the cafe but she got lost around the neighbourhood. Luckily for her, she walked into a man. And she could use his phone. She called her mom to get her.

When Lexa got home she was surprised to see that Clarke wasn’t there. It wasn’t until a few moments later that Clarke walked in. ‘’Where have you been?’’ Lexa asked worried.  
‘’I was out. I got lost, physically and mentally’’ she said.  
‘’You should’ve called me’’ Lexa pointed out.  
‘’I forgot the phone and I didn’t know your number so I called my mother and we made it a day. She invited us over for diner tonight’’ Clarke said with a smile.  
‘’Alright’’ Lexa said, a bit annoyed by her girlfriend.  
‘’Look, Lexa. They are the only thing I am sure about right now. Maybe I’ll wake up tomorrow and remember everything, but today is not that day. So please, just accept this’’ Clarke stated.  
‘’Okay. We’ll go’’ Lexa said giving in to her girlfriends wishes.  
Lexa wanted to walk away from the conversation but Clarke interrupted ‘’Are you going to change?’’ she asked.  
‘’Uhum’’ Lexa said before leaving the room. ‘’Changing’’.

‘’It’ just a left up here at the Caldwells’, and then a right at the cul-de-sac, and we’re six houses on the right. Oh, the Prestleys got a new mailbox, how cute’’ Clarke said on the way to her parents.  
Lexa just looked around but didn’t say much.   
‘’You know, this arrangement doesn’t exactly say, I’m sorry that we haven’t spoken, but now that I have a brain injury, maybe you can overlook it’’ Clarke stated while reading the card that was in the flower bouquet.   
‘’You’re right’’ Lexa said while nodding at Clarke before turning her eyes on the road again.  
‘’We should’ve got forget-me-nots’’ she said teasingly.  
‘’That’s funny’’ Clarke said sarcastically. ‘’Actually, that is funny’’ she pointed out.  
Lexa didn’t respond to her, she didn’t want to upset Clarke.   
They finally arrived at Clarke her parents house after a few minutes when Clarke interrupted the silence in the car again ‘’So well, you’ve already met my parents, but my dad wil say to call him Jake, but he prefers Mr. Griffin. And my sister’s name is..’’ Clarke said but got interrupted by Lexa ‘’Harper’’ Lexa pointed out.  
‘’I know a lot about your family, Clarke’’ Lexa said calmly whilst she was following Clarke to the frontdoor of the house.   
‘’Right, yeah’’ Clarke said before walking towards the door.  
‘’We’re living together, you know?’’ Lexa said a bit uncomfortable. 

About an hour when they were sitting at the diner table Clarkes sister showed Clarke her engagement ring. ‘’Oh my god, you’re engaged!’’ Clarke said with a smile.  
‘’I know’’ Harper said.  
Lexa just nodded but didn’t say a word. She felt a bit awkward, but didn’t want to show it because of Clarke.  
‘’Oh you guys make a really cute couple’’ Clarke said to Harper and Monty.  
‘’Oh thanks, Clarke’’ Monty said with a smile, while walking into the dinning room.   
‘’It has been forever’’ Harper said relieved to see her sister again after all this time.  
‘’Has it?’’ Clarke asked.  
‘’Yeah’’ Harper said a bit sad.  
‘’The weird thing is that everybody looks a little bit older’’ Clarke said jokingly.  
‘’Really?’’ Harper asked surprised.  
‘’Yeah, especially you’’ she said with a smile on her face.  
‘’Oh I’m so glad to have you back’’ Harper said before pulling Clarke in for a hug.  
‘’Voila’’ Abby said, who walked into the room with diner in her hands. ‘’In honor of Clarke being home. I made your favorite diner’’ Abby said while walking towards the table with a smile on her face.

‘’Filet mignon’’ Abby said satisfied.  
Abby sat down with the rest and started to talk ‘’Before we start, I think this evening deserves a toast. Darling?’’ she asked Jake.  
‘’Well, I would like to drink to my family’’ Jake pointed out. ‘’I am so fortunate to have these three beautiful women in my life and, when we’re all together, that fortune just multiplies. Clarke, honey. Welcome home. To family’’ he said with a grin on his face.  
Lexa didn’t look to happy. She didn’t like Clarke her parents at all because she knew what they were up to. Trying to make her look bad.  
‘’To family’’ the rest added, except for Lexa.  
‘’So, Lexa, what about your family?’’ Jake asked. ‘’Do you see them often?’’  
Lexa felt a bit awkward and shook her head ‘’No’’.  
‘’Oh that’s a shame’’ Jake pointed out.  
‘’Both my parents are dead. They died in an car accident when I was young. It’s just Clarke. She’s my family now’’ Lexa pointed out.  
Everyone in the room looked annoyed at Lexa. 

Abby interrupted the awkward silence in the room ‘’And, what kind of work do you do, Lexa?’’ she asked.   
‘’I just opened up my own recording studio downtown. Clarke actually convinced me to turn it into a bussines’’.  
‘’I did?’’ she asked surprised.  
‘’Yeah’’ Lexa nodded at her girlfriend.  
‘’Isn’t that sort of a dying field?’’ Monty asked. ‘’No I just mean, can’t people record things at their homes now?’’  
‘’Monty’’ Harper said, trying to stop her fiance.  
‘’What?’’ he asked confused.  
‘’Look, the records that I like, they have life and warmth and soul. Like Just a kiss from Lady Antebellum. Look you’re not gonna get that in your computer. You’re gonna want a liveroom, you’re gonna want to bounce to the tape. You’re gonna want real musicians in a room, vibing off of each other. I guess the answer to your question, it may be a dying field and you can record high quality stuff at home’’ Lexa said emberassed. ‘’But I mean, come on, you can’t get Lady Antebellum on your laptop’’ she said while looking around the room. She noticed that everyone was annoyed by her talking, so she deciced to be quiet.   
‘’Wow’’ Harper said, trying to ease the situation.  
‘’Wow’’ Jake said sarcastically. Everyone just said ‘’Wow’’ and that was it.

After diner they were headed for a club. ‘’So I heard everyone’s going to be here tonight’’ Harper said to her sister.  
‘’This kind of thing might be a bit too much for Clarke’’ Lexa said worried.  
‘’Oh no, I’m good here actually’’ Clarke pointed out. Clarke recognised and old friend of hers and waved at her ‘’Isn’t that Fox?’’ she asked surprised.  
‘’Yeah, well we don’t really hang out anymore’’ Harper said, trying to her her sister away from Fox.  
‘’God you have been away for a long time’’ she pointed out.  
‘’Oh my god!’’ Clarke yelled when she saw her old friends sitting behind a table.  
‘’Good luck, man’’ Monty said.  
‘’Lexa, these are my friends from High School. This is Shana, Carrie and Lizbet’’ Clarke said with a smile.  
‘’Hi’’ Lexa said friendly.

‘’What about me? I don’t get an introduction?’’ a stranger asked.  
Clarke turned around to see Bellamy standing behind her. ‘’Hi’’ she said.  
‘’Hi’’ Bellamy said with a smile on his face. Lexa stared at the awkward situation and saw that it did something with Clarke to see Bellamy again. This hurt her but she tried to mask the pain away, by just smiling awkwardly.   
‘’Sorry this is..’’ Clarke was startled by the situation.  
‘’Bellamy’’ Lexa said finishing Clarke her sentence.  
‘’It’s been a long time’’ Bellamy said with a smile.  
‘’Has it?’’ Clarke asked surprised.  
‘’It doesn’t seem like it, you haven’t changed a bit’’ she said, blushing.  
Lexa didn’t like where this was going so she interrupted ‘’I’m not sure if she mentioned it. I’m Lexa’’.  
‘’Hi’’ Bellamy said shaking Lexas hand.  
‘’Her girlfriend’’ Lexa pointed out.  
‘’Right’’ Bellamy, said while staring at Clarke. ‘’I’m gonna grab a drink. You guys want anything?’’ he asked.  
‘’Disoranno Sour?’’ Shana asked. ‘’I’ll have a blueberry mojito’’ Clarke added.  
‘’Really?’’ Lexa asked surprised.  
‘’Yes, I remember’’ Bellamy said with a smile.  
Lexa looked hurt at Clarke for a second, but Clarke didn’t pay any attention to her. She was to focused on Bellamy.   
Clarke sat down next to her friends. When Carrie began to talk ‘’Oh my god, Clarke. Do you remember when we were in ninth grade, and we were getting ready for the Christmas Dance, we were curling your hair and we ended up burning half of it’’.  
‘’I totally remember that’’ Clarke said while laughing at her friends.  
Lexa didn’t felt like she belonged so she left them at the table and spent the rest of the night alone at the bar.

‘’It was like she was some sweater-set wearing, mojito-drinking sority girl’’ Lexa said to Octavia while working in the studio the next day.  
‘’Like a Stepford wife?’’ Octavia asked surprised.  
‘’Yeah, basically’’ Lexa said.  
‘’She was even flirting with Bellamy right in front of me’’.  
‘’Ex-Fiancé Bellamy?’’ Octavia asked.  
‘’Oh, no no no. In her mind it’s fiancé Bellamy’’ Lexa pointed out.  
‘’Which it was why it was probably annoying to have her stranger girlfriend cock-block her all night’’ Lexa said hurt.  
‘’That is a lot to get my mind around’’ Octavia said.

‘’So what turns her on?’’ Octavia asked when she was sitting outside having a break with Lexa from work.  
‘’Clarke?’’ Lexa asked.  
‘’No her mother’’ Octavia said jokingly. ‘’Yes, Clarke’’ she pointed out.  
‘’Like in bed?’’ she asked surprised.  
‘’Oh my god’’ Octavia laughed at her friend. ‘’What? It’s private’’ Lexa said emberassed.  
‘’It’s kind of between me and her kinda thing’’ she said.  
‘’Hey I’m not going to judge. I mean I’m dating, Lincoln’’ Octavia said with a big smile.  
‘’She liked being tickled’’ Lexa said blushing.   
‘’Seriously?’’  
Lexa headed home after their conversation had ended to make the best of it with Clarke. 

Clarke was in the meantime visiting an old friend of hers. When she walked into his office, everyone was surprised to see her because she hadn’t been there in years. When Clarke walked by the reception she greeted the person behind it ‘’Hey Lisa’’ she said before walking down the hallway into an office at the end of it. 

‘’Because I’ve been dealing with these people forever and I know they have..’’ Bellamy said, to someone who he was talking with on the phone until he saw Clarke walking into his office. He waved at her before hanging up ‘’Something important just popped up, I’ll call you back’’.  
‘’Hi’’ Bellamy said with a smile.  
‘’Hi’’ Clarke said laughing at him.  
‘’Please’’ he gestured at a chair in front of his desk.  
Clarke sat down and smiled at Bellamy. ‘’So, you remember that time at the lake, when you told me you’d always have my back, no matter what?’’ Clarke asked surprised.  
‘’The night in the boathouse’’ Bellamy nodded.  
‘’Mmm-hmm, yeah’’.  
‘’So, can you please tell me what went down with us?’’ Clarke asked.  
‘’Only you Clarke, can dump a guy, then come back and demand answers’’.  
‘’So, I dumped you?’’ she asked.  
‘’A cruel, hard, pre-wedding dumping’’ Bellamy said with the hurt shown on his face.  
‘’Why?’’ Clarke asked because she didn’t understand it.  
‘’Well, that’s a question that I and all of my friends and the two rebound girls, yeah, we’d all love an answer to’’.  
‘’Come on, seriously’’ Clarke begged Bellamy. ‘’I must have had some kind of reason’’ she pointed out.  
‘’You..You changed’’ Bellamy said. ‘’You talked differently, you dressed differently. You weren’t sure about law school anymore. And you definitely weren’t sure about me anymore’’.  
‘’Did I give you, your ring back?’’ Clarke asked.  
‘’Yeah, you did’’.  
‘’Who has that now?’’ she asked.  
‘’No one yet’’ Bellamy pointed out. ‘’But I’ve been with someone else’’.  
Clarke looked hurt for a second but covered it up. Bellamy noticed this ‘’I couldn’t wait forever Clarke’’ he said.  
‘’You couldn’t have anticipated that I’d have a brain injury and forget our break-up and come waltzing into your office demanding answers?’’ she said jokingly ‘’what’s wrong with you?’’  
They both lauged. ‘’I’m sorry. I’m gonna let you go back to your work’’ Clarke said apologising.  
‘’Sure’’ Bellamy nodded. Clarke leaned in for a quick hug. Bellamy put his arms around her.  
Clarke backed away and leaned and kissed Bellamy without realising what she just did.   
‘’Sorry’’ she said.  
‘’I was not expecting that’’ Bellamy said.  
‘’Habit, I guess’’ Clarke said. ‘’I honestly didn’t even know where I was headed until I found myself here’’ she pointed out. ‘’It just seems so ridicilous to me that I shut everyone out for five years. It just doesn’t feel right’’ she said while holding back her tears.


	4. A second chance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke becomes nicer to Lexa when she realises Lexa is trying to help her. She agrees to go on a date with her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I decided to do this different than from the movie. I wanted to make a lighter chapter this time after the 3 heavier ones I wrote before. I hope you like this :)  
> Enjoy and take you for taking your time to read my story :) means a lot :)

Lexa came home to find Clarke sitting between a lot of pictures stalled out on the ground of their home. Clarke wanted to find out what thing she remembered last. She hoped to do that by making a timeline.  
‘’Hey’’ Clarke said to Lexa.  
‘’Hey’’ Lexa said with a smile while walking towards Clarke.  
‘’How was your day?’’ Clarke asked.  
‘’Uh..It was fine’’ she said nodding before putting her stuff away. After that she turned around to face Clarke. ‘’I’m just happy to be home with you’’ she said before giving Clarke a kiss on the cheek.  
Clarke looked a bit confused, before explaing what she was doing ‘’Sorry for the mess’’.  
‘’No problem’’ Lexa said politely. ‘’What are you doing?’’ she asked.  
‘’I was so inspired by seeing everybody last night that I wanted to figure out what my last memory is before everything went blank’’.  
‘’That’s a great idea’’ Lexa said encouraging.  
‘’I kind of rummaged through some of your stuff. I hope you don’t mind’’ Clarke said.  
‘’It’s fine’’ Lexa said with a smile.   
‘’See I started over here. This are pictures of the things I can remember’’.  
‘’That’s good right?’’ Lexa asked interested.  
‘’Yeah I guess so’’ Clarke said nodding at Lexa.  
‘’The last memory I had was when I asked a waiter about my food. I didn’t know what was in my pasta. The next thing I remember after that is waking up in the hospital’’ Clarke said a bit confused.  
Clarke looked confused and felt a bit down ‘’Oh this is not happening’’ she mumbled.  
Lexa took a few steps towards her girlfriend, to calm her down ‘’Hey it’s okay’’ she said caring.  
Clarke somehow felt safe in this moment and pulled Lexa in for a hug. Lexa was surprised by this and was caught of guard ‘’Thank you’’ she whispered in Lexa’s ear.

Clarke and Lexa headed towards Clarkes studio the next morning. Clarke decided that she was finally ready to go there. When Clarke walked in she looked around the room, to see a lot of drawings of Lexa. She was amazed by it, and stared awkwardly at Lexa. ‘’It’s beautiful’’ she said with a smile.  
‘’When we first came here, you weren’t sure if you liked it. Until you put on your radio and just started to work on something. That was always the time when your inspiration struck’’.  
Clarke nodded while she was looking at a design that looked like a city, with one big skyscraper. It was made of clay. ‘’Did I make all of this?’’ she asked surprised.  
Lexa nodded ‘’Yeah. You are pretty talented’’ she said proudly.  
‘’Come here’’ Lexa motioned for Clarke to come to her.  
‘’Alright’’ Clarke said with a smile.  
Lexa showed Clarke one piece that was a sculpture of the two of them holding hands. ‘’You made this for our anniversary’’ Lexa said.  
‘’It’s awesome’’ Clarke said with a smile.  
‘’Yeah’’ Lexa nodded. She wanted to say something else but was interrupted by her phone that rang. She saw that it was Octavia so she answered right away ‘’Hello, Octavia?’’ Lexa asked through the phone.  
‘’Hi Lex, I need you to come here right now. There’s something going on’’ Octavia said in a hurry before hanging up the phone.  
Lexa turned around to face Clarke ‘’I’m sorry I have to go to my studio. Will you be fine here for a moment?’’ she asked.  
Clarke nodded ‘’Yeah, go. I’ll see you at home’’.  
‘’Okay, see ya’’ Lexa said before leaving the art studio and getting in her car.

Lexa came home after work, she picked up some food on the way home. ‘’Hey’’ she said with a smile to Clarke.  
‘’Hi’’ Clarke smiled at her.  
Lexa heard sounds coming out of the badroom and she realised that she wasn’t alone ‘’Is somebody here?’’ Lexa asked.  
‘’Yes’’ Clarke nodded.  
Jake walked out of the badroom into the livingroom ‘’Lexa’’ he said with a bitter tone.  
‘’Hey’’ Lexa said as friendly as possible.  
‘’We thought that Clarke could come home and help her sister out with the engagementparty that is coming up’’ Jake said with a grin on his face.  
‘’It just seems like the right thing to do, to be there for Harper’’ Clarke pointed out.  
‘’Okay’’ Lexa said surprised ‘’but what about your life here?’’ she asked, sounding hurt.  
‘’I don’t know. I just can’t deal with this right now. I’m sorry’’ Clarke said while packing her bags.  
‘’You just come out when you’re ready honey’’ Jake said to his daughter before leaving the house.  
Clarke walked back to Lexa and saw how hurt she was ‘’I’m sorry. It’s just until after the wedding’’ she said apologizing to Lexa.  
‘’I just want you to be careful, okay?’’ Lexa asked worried.  
‘’I’m not joining a cult. I’m just going to stay with my family’’ Clarke pointed out.  
‘’I know..but..’’ Lexa mumbled.  
‘’But what?’’ Clarke asked surprised, she noticed that Lexa was hiding something from her.   
Lexa didn’t answer because she didn’t want to drive Clarke away from her family again. ‘’Can I atleast give you an awkward hug?’’ she asked.  
Clarke nodded and pulled Lexa in for a hug. Lexa embraced Clarke before letting her go and watching her walk away from her outta the house.

‘’So how are you feeling?’’ the doctor asked Clarke.  
‘’I feel fine’’ She said.  
‘’Yeah? No dizzines, disorientation, sleepiness?’’  
‘’Nope’’ Clarke said.  
‘’Great’’ the doctor said with a smile. ‘’Well I’m very happy and your CT-scan looks excellent’’.  
‘’Oh, what a relief well..’’ Abby said interrupting.  
‘’So how about your memories?’’ the doctor asked.  
‘’I still can’t remember anything. That’s not normal is it?’’ Clarke asked worried.  
‘’Listen when it comes to the brain, nothing is normal, because no two brain injuries are the same’’ the doctor pointed out.  
‘’Clarke seems perfectly herself again’’ Abby said annoyed. ‘’It’s wonderful’’.  
Clarke smiled awkwardly at her mother before practically pleading the doctor to get Abby to leave. The doctor took the hint and turned to Abby ‘’Mrs. Griffin, could I just talk to Clarke alone for a moment, please?’’ she asked.  
Abby stared confused at her daughter. ‘’It’s okay. I’m good’’ Clarke said.  
‘’Alright’’ Abby said before leaving the room.  
‘’Thanks’’ the doctor said before turning to Clarke again. ‘’Clarke, do you want to regain your memory?’’ she asked.  
‘’Yes’’ Clarke said hesitated.  
‘’Because some patients fear when their memory comes back, so will the memory of the trauma, but mercifully that’s rarely the case’’.  
Clarke shook her head ‘’Oh no..that’s not it. I am not afraid of the accident’’.  
‘’So what are you afraid of?’’ The doctor asked surprised.  
‘’What if I don’t like the life that I had? Or what if I like it too much? I guess I’m afraid to dissapoint people again. I know Lexa has a hard time with how I am now and I just.. I don’t know’’ Clarke said, on the edge of losing it.  
‘’I only did one psych rotation, so this may be terrible advice. But I think you have to try and fill the holes. You can still decide you want a different life, but if you don’t atleast open yourself up to remembering, I’m afraid you’re gonna live in fear of your own past’’ the doctor pointed out.

The engagement party of Harper and Monty were a few days after that. Lexa was invited so she decided to go to the Griffins’ house. She wore a long black dress, that showed her curves perfectly. She had her hair loose, trying to impress the crowd around her.   
Lexa walked into Monty at the party who was a bit nervous about the wedding.  
‘’Hey. The countdown is on man’’ Lexa said to Monty.  
‘’Hey’’ Monty said friendly.  
‘’One week left of your former life’’ Lexa said with a smile. ‘’How you feeling?’’ she asked.  
‘’I feel pretty good actually. I mean, I do get a little dizzy if I think about it for too long but I know this is the right decision’’ he said.  
‘’What?’’ Harper asked confused, when she overheard the conversation. She walked over to Lexa and Monty to get an explanation.  
‘’No honey, it’s like a good dizzy. It’s like panic or excitement’’ he explained.  
‘’Well, panic and excitement are different’’ Harper pointed out.  
‘’Honey, there’s gonna be like 400 people there’’ he said explaining.  
‘’Right’’ Harper said worried.  
‘’Hey, do you also have a little tingling in your fingers?’’ Lexa asked.  
‘’Yeah, is that bad?’’ Monty asked worried.  
‘’Do you listen to Radio-Head?’’ Lexa asked.  
‘’Uh-huh’’ Monty said confused.  
‘’Thom Yorke, he talks about dizzy spells all the time. He says when his fingers tingle, that’s how he knows that he’s creating something genius. And then he gets so amped up playing that he almost passes out. Monty, it sounds to me like you’re on the verge of genius’’ Lexa said with a grin on her face.  
‘’That’s cool’’ Monty said with a big smile on his face. ‘’Thanks’’ he said.  
Montys mother interrupted and wanted to introduce him to someone. Lexa was left alone with Harper.  
‘’So it that true?’’ Harper asked.  
‘’Uhumm’’ Lexa said before getting another drink. She turned around to see Clarke walking towards her.

‘’Lexa?’’ she asked surprised.  
‘’Hey Lexa’’ Clarke said with a smile.  
‘’You look beautiful’’ Lexa said politely. ‘’Thank you’’ Clarke said blushing.  
‘’Okay look. I’ve been thinking about something’’.  
‘’Okay’’ Clarke said with a smile.  
‘’What’s your favorite book?’’ Lexa asked.  
‘’It’s probably not what you remember’’ Clarke said.  
‘’That’s fine. That’s not the point’’ Lexa said with a smile.  
‘’The 100 by Kass Morgan’’.  
‘’No really?’’ Lexa said laughing. ‘’Yeah’’ Clarke said serious.  
‘’Okay. The 100’’.  
‘’Okay. If it was great you probably loaned it to somebody, right?’’ Lexa asked.  
‘’Yeah. Harper, I think’’ Clarke said.  
‘’Okay, and you probably said to yourself, god I wish I was the person that hadn’t read it. So that I could experience it all over again’’ Lexa said with a smile.  
‘’Yeah, I guess so’’ Clarke nodded.  
‘’That’s how I think we should look at us’’. ‘’What?’’ Clarke asked.  
‘’You can’t remember how we met. And you can’t remember how we fell in love. And in a way that sucks. But it was the greatest time of my life. I just thought how cool it would be to get to experience that all over again’’ Lexa explained.  
‘’Like reading your favorite book for the first time’’ Clarke added with a smile.  
‘’Exactly’’ Lexa nodded. ‘’I got you’’ Clarke said with a smile.  
‘’Which is why I wanted to ask you out on date’’.  
‘’A date?’’ Clarke asked.  
‘’Like two people that are just meeting for the first time’’ Lexa said desperately. Hoping that Clarke would agree to this.  
‘’I’d love to’’ Clarke said with a smile.  
‘’Alright’’ Lexa said with a happy face. She was happy that Clarke agreed with her. Maybe this could be their second chance. 

Lexa took Clarke out the next day. They went to Gustus’ Cafe, where they always used to come before the accident. Lexa ordered their usual and they enjoyed it. After that Lexa took Clarke to a nearby lake to go for a swim. That was something they always did. They challenged each other to see who could stay in the cold water the longest. Clarke, always won. But it took them a while and after that they were almost freezing in their car.  
‘’My hands are ice cold’’ Clarke said.  
‘’Come here’’ Lexa said with a smile before taking Clarkes hand into hers and blowing into them. That was something they used to do before the accident. ‘’Thank you’’ Clarke said with a smile.

When they got home Lexa wrapped a blanket around Clarke. Clarke was sitting on the couch and Lexa sat down next to her. ‘’I really enjoyed this Lexa’’ Clarke said with a smile.  
‘’Me too’’ Lexa said, while bibbering because she was cold. But she didn’t want to make things awkward so she gave the blanket to Clarke. ‘’You’re freezing’’ Clarke pointed out.  
‘’I’m okay’’ Lexa said with a smile.  
Clarke shook her head ‘’No you’re not. Come here’’ Clarke said while wrapping her blanket around Lexa as well. Lexa agreed and shoved closer to Clarke. Lexa faced Clarke for a second but didn’t say anything. Clarke was lost in Lexa’s eyes for a moment, before she realised what she was doing. She leaned in and kissed Lexa. Lexa kissed her back, but not rushing it, awaiting Clarkes reaction. Clarke pulled away after a few seconds and looked at Lexa’s beautiful green eyes. She felt a flutter in her stomach. She had spent the last few days with Lexa and somehow Clarke felt a spark between them.   
‘’I did not expect that’’ Lexa said blushing.   
‘’Ssst’’ Clarke said before leaning in again. Lexa kissed her back this time without any hesitation.


	5. Walking away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa finds out that Clarke kissed Bellamy. She finally realises what she has to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for a sad chapter again. I promise that everything will turn okay. Clarke does feel something with Lexa and that will come to light in the next few chapters. I thought this part of the story was essential for me so I can pick it up and make an end to it soon.  
> Sorry that I haven't updated sooner but there are some problems in my private life.  
> Sorry for typos as well, cheers :)

Lexa brought Clarke home the same night. She stepped out of the car to open the door for Clarke.  
‘’Thank you for coming out with me tonight’’ Lexa said with a smile.  
Clarke smiled at Lexa ‘’I had a really nice time’’ she said before walking towards her frontdoor. She wanted to walk into her parents house but got interrupted by Lexa who started talking ‘’I’ve missed you’’ Lexa confessed, without even thinking for a second ‘’I miss our life together. I miss being with you’’ she admitted. Clarke smiled at Lexa. ‘’I love you’’ Lexa said, blushing, trying to pull herself together.  
Clarke looked awkwardly at Lexa before she said ‘’I don’t remember my feelings..’’  
‘’Yeah I understand’’ Lexa said, feeling stupid for saying all those things just now to Clarke.  
‘’No it’s not that’’ Clarke shook her head ‘’but when I’m around you something does feel right’’ she admitted.  
That startled Lexa, but Clarke had already gone inside, leaving Lexa outside, desperately wanting her girlfriend. Lexa got into her car and drove away after that.

Clarke walked into her parents house and put her keys away before heading towards the livingroom.   
‘’Hey’’ Harper said with a friendly smile to her sister.  
‘’Hey, I didn’t know you were going to be here’’ Clarke said surprised.  
‘’Were you out with Bellamy?’’ Harper said teasingly.  
‘’No!’’ Clarke shook her head ‘’I was with Lexa’’ she said with a smile.  
‘’I like her’’ Harper said, encouraging her sister.  
‘’Yeah. Me too’’ Clarke said, holding back her tears.   
‘’Are you okay?’’ Harper asked worried.  
Clarke shook her head, while she was on the edge of losing it. She tried to hold herself together, but couldn’t. Tears streamed down her face.   
Harper put the book away she was just reading and stood up, walking towards her sister ‘’Clarke, I’ve never seen you like this’’ she said ‘’I mean, is this crying thing the new you?’’ her sister asked worried ‘’Because it’s bizarre’’.   
Clarke shook her head ‘’I don’t know what’s me..’’ she said confused. Harper pulled her sister in for a hug, comforting her.

Lexa met her friends in town the next day, they were walking down the street when Lexa began to talk ‘’Look, it was just like it used to be. It was better, actually’’ she admitted.  
‘’Everything that I fell in love with about Clarke is still there’’.  
‘’You know, to you, I’m sure it seemed like a conformation about your love, right? But to her, it probably seemed more like a really good first date’’ Raven said worried.  
‘’Exactly. Which is why I think you’ve gotta wait the requisite three days before you call’’ Lincoln said, teasing Lexa.  
‘’I gotta wait three days to call my own girlfriend?’’ Lexa laughed.  
‘’At least. This is a unique case. Maybe longer’’ Octavia said reassuring.  
‘’It can’t be longer. I’m going to see her on Saturday at the wedding’’ Lexa said. ‘’I’m telling you, there’s still that spark between us’’ Lexa said with a big smile on her face.  
‘’Obvious to her or to you?’’ Lincoln asked.  
‘’To both of us’’ Lexa smiled.

Clarke was spending her evening at home with her parents when her mother walked into the livingroom.  
‘’Clarke, we have to start writting out those place cards after we eat’’.  
‘’Yes’’ Clarke nodded.  
‘’Before you start on that, I have a little surprise for you Clarke’’ Jake said while sitting down on the couch near Clarke.  
‘’Oh?’’ she asked confused.  
‘’You know, Marcus Kane right? He taught constitutional law at Northwestern.’’  
‘’He and I were on law review together. We’ve known each other forever. He is the dean of the Law School now. And they’re gonna let you back in’’ Jake said with a grin on his face.  
‘’What?’’ Clarke asked confused, still processing what her father just said.  
‘’Well..’’ Abby interrupted.  
‘’I didn’t even apply’’ Clarke said.  
‘’I took care of it’’ Jake smiled.  
‘’This is crazy, I feel like I’m getting a free do-over in life’’ Clarke said.

Lexa came home that night after she spend the day with her friends. She had a lot on her minds because the medical bills from the hospital needed to be paid and she couldn’t handle that on her own. 

Before they knew it, it was already Saturday, the day of Harpers and Monty’s wedding. Lexa had bought an amazing dress to impress her girlfriend. Everything went well with the wedding, the ceremony was beautiful and everyone enjoyed it. 

The wedding day went by quickly and it was already evening when the party had started. Lexa wandered around the garden, not knowing what to do. She hadn’t really talked to Clarke at all.   
Lexa walked to the edge of the garden to look at the beautiful nature around her. Not really paying attention to her surroundings when she was interrupted by Jake Griffin.  
‘’You look like you could use a drink’’ he said with a grin, whilst holding a bottle of whiskey in his hand.  
‘’I’ve already had several’’ Lexa said, turning around to face Jake.  
‘’But you haven’t had this’’ he pointed out.  
‘’Alright’’ Lexa said. Jake poured to glasses full, before handing one over to Lexa.  
‘’I’m glad we’re having a moment alone’’ Jake said. ‘’I haven’t gotten a chance to really talk to you, Lexa’’.  
‘’Yeah’’ Lexa nodded ‘’congratulations’’.  
Jake took a sip of his drink before staring at Lexa ‘’I’ve been thinking. And I think it’s probably time to let us take it from here’’ he said, a bit annoyed.  
‘’Take what?’’ Lexa asked confused.  
‘’Things with Clarke’’ he grinned ‘’look I know she didn’t have health insurance because you chose to live in a certain way, and I know you must be drowning in debt. But I also know a way out of this’’ he said.  
‘’What’s that?’’ Lexa asked.  
‘’Leave her’’ he demanded ‘’the bills have only just begun, Lexa’’.  
‘’Mr. Griffin. I don’t think this is the time or the place to discuss this’’ Lexa spat out.  
‘’Fine. If you don’t care about losing your bussines, which clearly, you don’t, what about Clarke?’’ he asked angry ‘’What about doing what is obviously the right thing for her?!’’  
‘’And you know what is right for her?’’ Lexa scoffed.  
‘’As a matter of fact, I do’’ He spat out.  
‘’You’re such a hypocrite’’ Lexa said angry, not holding back her anger towards Clarkes father any longer.  
‘’What did you say?’’ Jake asked clearly annoyed by Lexa.  
‘’If you’re such a family, how come I..I never once saw you come and try to put things back together with Clarke?’’ Lexa scoffed. ‘’You’re such a coward’’ Lexa said before leaving Jake behind walking into the house.

Lexa sat down on the couch in the livingroom, worried about everything. That was when Bellamy came walking towards her, with a drink in his hand ‘’Hey, can I introduce you around a little bit?’’ he asked ‘’Can’t feel good the be the odd one out’’.  
‘’I’m not the odd one out’’ Lexa said.  
‘’Alright. If you say so, you just seem a little creepy over here all by yourself’’ Bellamy said, grinning.  
‘’I’m just waiting for, Clarke’’ Lexa said whilst Bellamy was about to walk away.  
‘’Alright, well. Best of luck with that’’ he said.  
‘’You like this right?’’ Lexa asked.  
‘’I’m sorry. Like what?’’ he asked, while turning around to face Lexa.  
‘’Clarke leaves you behind. She goes and has this life without you, with some girl that no one gets. And now you get to see her reject all that’’ Lexa said with a sad tone in her voice, but she tried to cover it up.  
‘’I mean, I like it a little bit’’ he grinned.  
‘’Yeah?’’ Lexa laughed sarcastically. ‘’Well, let me tell you what I like. I like the fact that Clarke told me everything about you, Bellamy. She told me when she was with you, she would wake up at night in a panic, thinking ‘’Is this all there is?’’  
‘’Wow’’ Bellamy scoffed. ‘’She told you everything, huh?’’  
‘’Mmhm’’ Lexa nodded.  
‘’Did she tell you that she threw herself at me the other day? Did she tell you that?’’ He scoffed.  
‘’Or did she stop telling you everything when she forgot who the hell you were?’’  
Lexa looked hurt, but put herself together fast ‘’Look, I get why you’re being such a dick. You obviously love her, and you think you’re gonna get her back. But the thing is, she outgrew you. What makes you think that won’t happen again?’’ Lexa asked.  
‘’Thank you for that advice. I will mull it over while I’m in bed with your girlfriend’’ he scoffed.  
Lexa couldn’t take anymore of his shit and hit Bellamy right in the face. Bellamy fell on the ground. Everyone around them looked at Lexa and Bellamy. ‘’Lexa!’’ Clarke said surprised.  
Lexa backed away and turned around to see Clarke walk out of the house. She turned around to see Bellamy lying on the ground, bleeding from his nose, before she walked after Clarke.

‘’Clarke, wait’’ she begged.  
‘’What the hell were you thinking?’’ Clarke asked.  
‘’I don’t know. That’s a really good question, because I have been driving myself insane, making a complete ass of myself!’’ she said, with her voice raised at Clarke. ‘’Literally trying everything possible to try to save what we have’’ she said.  
‘’And you’ve been throwing yourself at Bellamy..’’ Lexa said with a obviously hurt tone in her voice.   
Clarke turned around to face Lexa ‘’that’s not fair’’.  
‘’It’s not fair?’’ Lexa scoffed.  
‘’I see the way you look at him. I know, because you used to look at me the same way’’ Lexa said while holding back her tears. She couldn’t even mask her pain anymore, something broke inside of her and she couldn’t keep any of it together any longer.  
Clarke looked down before she faced Lexa again ‘’Lexa..I’’ she mumbled.  
‘’No, I think we just need to start being realistic. Your memory is not coming back. The fact is that I’m still just a stranger’’.  
‘’I’m not trying to hurt you’’ Clarke said. ‘’But I’m just.. I’m so tired of disappointing you’’ she said with tears in her eyes.  
‘’I know’’ Lexa admitted.  
‘’I’m so sorry’’ Clarke said, begging for Lexa to forgive her.  
‘’I’ll apologize to Monty and Harper’’ Lexa said.  
‘’Oh god, no. It’s fine’’ Clarke said crying. ‘’Wedding disasters have a way of turning out into great stories’’ she mumbled ‘’eventually’’.  
Lexa started to cry before looking at Clarke one more time’’How do you look at the girl you love and tell yourself it’s time to walk away?’’ not being able to stop her tears while turning around, before she walked away leaving Clarke behind.  
Clarke looked at her leaving before she spoke again ‘’Lexa?’’  
Lexa turned around to look at Clarke. ‘’I hope one day I can love the way you love me’’ Clarke said, crying.  
‘’You figured it out once. You’ll do it again’’ Lexa said before turning around and leaving Clarke behind.


	6. The old me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke finds out what happened in the past. Lexa deals with their break up in the meantime.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah, I changed the ending with Bellamy a bit. Because I thought it suits his character in my story. Anyway I hope you guys don't hate me for it.  
> This story is almost done but thank you for reading it anyway. Means a lot to me :)  
> Sorry for typos, gonna fix that after I'm done. Because of my personal problems I can be late with new updates, sorry for that in advance.
> 
> Cheers :)

Lexa headed back to her studio to get some distraction from what happened tonight with Clarke. She had seen this coming for some time now but it still hurt her. She thought she was alone until she saw Octavia in the recording studio, cleaning everything up. 

Octavia noticed Lexa who sitting in a corner of the studio, trying to pull herself together.   
‘’Shit’’ Octavia said to Lexa, while standing across from her.  
‘’You’re here. Not there. Are you okay?’’ Octavia asked worried.  
‘’I’m done. We broke up. I give up’’ Lexa said, trying to hold back her tears.   
‘’No, you never give up, Lexa. You fight for the ones you love’’ Octavia pointed out.  
‘’No. If we were meant to be together, we would be together’’ Lexa said. ‘’I was just thinking about the first time when I met her. It was such an amazing day. I loved every part of it. And now that’s just gone..’’ Lexa said. ‘’I remember the first time she told me that she loved me, it was in this Greek restaurant, she looked at me and just mumbled it out. For a second it just hung there, like she was saying it to herself..It only took her two weeks to fall in love with me before…’’Lexa said while the tears were streaming down her face, she couldn’t take it anymore and she didn’t care if this made her look weak.  
‘’She doesn’t love me’’ Lexa said, before standing up and leaving Octavia behind in the studio. 

Clarke headed to the supermarket a few days later when she bumped into and old friend of hers.   
‘’Diane?’’ Clarke asked surprised.  
‘’Hey. How are you?’’ Clarke asked with a smile on her face.  
‘’Listen. I know it’s been years’’ Dianne mumbled.  
‘’I was away for a while’’ Clarke said confused.  
‘’I never had a chance to apologize. I was just going through a really weird time, but your dad ended it as soon your mother confronted him about us. And I just always wanted you to know that. I don’t mean to open up old wounds, but I just really needed to say that I’m sorry’’ Dianne said, trying to read Clarke, who just stood there frozen in her place, looking all confused like.  
‘’No. I’m really glad that you said something’’ Clarke pointed out.  
‘’You were always a really good friend. I just wish I could’ve returned the favor’’ Dianne said.  
But they got interrupted by Harper who walked towards them ‘’The bread was bad so I got some pancakes instead for tomorrow’’ she said.  
Dianne saw Harper and left Clarke behind as soon as she could trying to avoid another conversation. Clarke looked after her before turning to her sister.   
‘’I wanted to tell you’’ Harper said, feeling bad that she didn’t.  
‘’You knew?’’ Clarke spat out ‘’You knew the whole time?!’’.  
‘’I’m sorry..’’ Harper said holding back tears.  
Clarke shook her head ‘’Don’t talk to me’’ she said before leaving her sister behind.  
‘’Clarke..Clarke..Clarke!’’ Harper said loud trying to stop her sister, but she was to fast.

Clarke arrived about 15 minutes later at her home. When she saw her mother gardening.   
‘’Hey, where have you been all day, stranger?’’ Abby asked teasingly.  
Clarke threw her bike on the ground in front of Abby. ‘’I ran into Dianne at the store. That’s why I left isn’t it? Because I found out?’’ Clarke scoffed at her mother.  
Abby looked away from Clarke, feeling guilty.  
‘’Mom. I barely even know who I am, and then it turns out you’re lying to me, and you’ve used my accident to rewrite the past?!’’ she yelled trying to hold herself together.  
‘’I couldn’t bare the thought of losing you again’’ Abby said crying.  
‘’Do you have any idea how betrayed I feel right now?’’ Clarke asked.  
‘’I’m sorry, Clarke’’ Abby said. ‘’We were happier than we’d been in years’’.  
‘’Mom’’ Clarke scoffed. ‘’We finally had you back’’ Abby said interrupting Clarke.  
‘’BACK ON YOUR TERMS!’’ Clarke yelled.  
‘’No..’’ Abby said trying to fix everything she had done wrong.  
‘’Yes. As usual!’’ Clarke yelled.  
‘’Clarke!’’ Abby begged her daughter.  
Clarke walked away but turned around for a second ‘’He cheated on you with my friend!’’ she spat out ‘’How could you stay with him?’’ she asked, not understanding her mother at all.  
‘’I was going to leave. I was. I was all ready to leave. And then one afternoon, I was all alone in the house, and I started looking at all the photographs of you and your sister. And the house seemed so full of all of us. We were a family, Clarke. And I realized in that moment that, that was the most important thing in the world for me. I couldn’t go’’ Abby explained.  
Clarke looked down at the ground, holding back her tears until her mother was done talking.  
‘’So you just wasped it away?’’ she asked hurt.  
‘’No. I chose to stay with him for all the things he had done right and not to leave him for the one thing he had done wrong. I chose to forgive him’’ Abby said.  
Clarke shook her head trying to understand. ‘’Maybe Lexa was right. Maybe I can’t figure out who I am and be around all of you’’ Clarke said before turning around again, heading towards the house.

‘’I still feel a little chilly, I don’t care what you say’’ Lexa said to Costia while walking down to her house.  
‘’That’s fine’’ Costia said.  
Lexa looked up to find Clarke sitting at her frontdoor, waiting for Lexa. ‘’Clarke?’’ she asked surprised.  
Clarke looked up to see Lexa with some girl standing in front of her. ‘’I’m sorry’’ Clarke said, standing up, ready to leave.  
Lexa stopped her and walked towards her ‘’Is everything okay?’’ she asked worried.  
‘’Uhm’’ Clarke mumbled looking hurt.  
Lexa noticed that and turned around to face Costia.   
‘’Look you two obviously need to talk, I’m just gonna go’’ Costia said with a smile.  
‘’Okay’’ Lexa nodded.  
‘’Talk to you later’’ Costia said before leaving the two of them behind.  
‘’Okay, bye’’ Lexa said before turning back to face Clarke.   
‘’I’m..I’m sorry’’ Clarke said. Lexa looked at Clarke and took a few steps towards her ‘’What happened?’’ she asked.  
Clarke walked a bit closer to Lexa ‘’Can I ask you something?’’ she asked.  
Lexa nodded ‘’Yeah. You can always ask me anything’’ she admitted.  
‘’Did you know about my dad’s affair?’’ Clarke asked.  
‘’Yeah. I knew’’ Lexa admitted.  
Clarke took a deep breath before sitting down on the steps in front of Lexas house ‘’Why didn’t you tell me?’’  
Lexa sat down next to Clarke before turning towards her ‘’There were so many times that I almost did. But to drive you away from your family again? That just felt wrong. I wanted your love. Just not like that. I wanted to earn it’’ Lexa said hurt.  
This made Clarke look at Lexa and she saw how honest Lexa was towards her. Clarke nodded, not knowing what to say to Lexa. ‘’I just don’t think I can afford to lose them right now’’ she admitted.  
‘’So don’t’’ Lexa said.

Days passed and Clarke go into law school again, but somehow it didn’t feel the same for her. She felt different than she had felt before. Most times during classes she was to busy drawing stuff instead of paying any attention. 

Clarke agreed to meet with Bellamy a few days later. ‘’Thanks for lunch’’ Clarke thanked Bellamy.  
‘’Actually, there’s something I wanted to tell you’’ Bellamy said.  
‘’Okay’’ Clarke said confused.  
‘’Things are over with Rose’’ he confessed. ‘’I ended it, Clarke’’.  
‘’No. Why did you do that?’’ she asked. ‘’I thought you were getting engaged’’.  
‘’We were. But that was before you’’ Bellamy said with a grin.  
‘’No. That was after me’’ Clarke said with a serious tone.  
‘’Okay, it was after you. But it was before this you. It was before the old you came back’’ he said.  
‘’Bellamy, I’m not the old me’’ Clarke scoffed. ‘’I’m just me’’ she said a bit annoyed. ‘’I’m just the me that’s trying to figure it out still’’.  
‘’I understand, but, whichever it is, the old you or the new you, I don’t care’’ he said ‘’I know that you remember what we were like together. I know you do. This is our chance to get that back’’ he grinned.  
‘’What we had was wonderful. Those were wonderful memories, but those were..Those are my only memories’’ Clarke explained, not wanting Bellamy back. ‘’Everything after you, is erased’’ She spat out. ‘’I have to discover what it’s like to be without you, on my own’’.  
‘’Are you sure you don’t remember breaking up with me the first time?!’’ He scoffed. ‘’Because it sure as hell sounded a lot like that’’.  
‘’I’m sorry’’ Clarke said to Bellamy. Bellamy shook his head ‘’Did you hit your head?’’ he scoffed before leaning in to kiss Clarke. But Clarke refused and this made him angry. ‘’Come on, I know you like it’’ he said grinning at her before trying to press her against a wall. ‘’Let me go’’ Clarke spat out in anger. But Bellamy shook his head ‘’No’’.  
This made Clarke super angry so she tore herself lose from his grip and hit him right in the face with her fist. Making him fall on the ground. She turned around and ran away from him as fast as she could.


	7. It's you, it has always been you.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke decides what she wants with her life. Lexa deals with everything on her own way.  
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for my late update. I've been going through a tough time myself. My health is bad at the moment and I've been ill for sometime now. But I didn't want to wait any longer so I wrote some a short ending chapter for you guys. So I'm sorry if it's a bit rushed, but I thought that it was better than nothing.  
> Thank you so much for reading this <3 means the world to me.  
> Enjoy! Sorry for typos :) cheers!

Clarke walked outside her schoolbuilding, to find Jake sitting on a bench waiting for her. She had tried to avoid him as much as possible, but she knew that he wanted to make things right, or atleast try to talk some sense into her.  
‘’Hey. I was looking all over. I was worried when I didn’t see you outside the library’’ Jake said a bit annoyed.  
Clarke looked angry at her father and didn’t say a word, instead she scoffed at him.  
‘’So..’’ Jake said a bit confused.  
‘’How’s that intellectual property class going?’’ he asked, not knowing that to say to Clarke.  
‘’Uhm’’ Clarke mumbled. ‘’Actually I want to talk to you about that’’ she said.  
‘’I’ve decided to leave law school’’ she said.  
Jake looked angry at her daughter but remained silent. ‘’I’m gonna get an appartment in the city’’ Clarke said.  
‘’It’s happening all over again, isn’t it’’ Jake scoffed ‘’Damn it, Clarke’’ he yelled. ‘’I’ve made a lot of mistakes’’ he said, feeling guilty somehow.  
‘’Dad this isn’t about you or anything you’ve done. This is about me, who I want to be. Who I am’’ Clarke said shortly. Then she saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was Lexa by the looks of it.  
Clarke noticed Lexa gesturing for her to come, so she looked back at her father for one second ‘’I gotta go’’ she said with a smile on her face.  
‘’Just tell me what to say, so I don’t lose you again’’ Jake said worried.  
‘’Nothing. You won’t. Anyway I gotta go, Lexa is waiting for me’’ She said, before leaving Jake behind.

Lexa stepped outside her car and Clarke came closer, she could see the smile on Clarkes face.  
Lexa glared with all the love she has had since the day she met at Clarke. Clarke looked back at her and took one step closer ‘’Thank you for meeting me’’ she smiled.  
Lexa nodded ‘’Always’’.  
‘’So what did you want to talk about?’’ Lexa asked.  
Clarke faced Lexa, and glared at her. ‘’I am moving away and I wanted you to know’’ she admitted.  
Lexa looked back at her, even more concerned than before. I’m happy for you’’ she replied.

They looked at each other, not knowing what to say. Clarke studied Lexas beautiful green eyes. Eventually she took a deep breath. I’m sorry’’, Clarke began in apologetic tones, ‘’but I have to do this. But I just want you to know one thing, Lexa’’.  
Lexa covered up her pain and looked with a smile at her ex-girlfriend ‘’what’s that?’’ she asked.  
‘’You were always there for me, and I don’t know how to thank you for that’’ Clarke mumbled.  
Lexa looked away for a second, feeling sad realising that Clarke was moving away, but she knew it was for the best for Clarke.  
‘’I am so sorry’’ Clarke said, holding back her tears before craddling Lexas face and leaning in for one quick kiss. Lexa kissed back but the kiss lasted only a few seconds before Clarke pulled back, turned around and left Lexa behind. Clarke turned around one more time and saw Lexa’s heart break into a million pieces. But she hurried away in the distance, knowing it was the best for herself to figure out who she was.

One year later..

It was a winter day when Lexa was in the city heading towards her favorite cafe to get some hot chocolate. She looked at the café sign, ‘’Cafe Memonic’’. This was the café where she used to come with Clarke. Well, before the accident. Nowadays she came here with her friends sometimes. Who’ve supported her for over the last year. Lexa had a hard time without Clarke. But she managed. 

Lexa walked towards the frontdoor of the cafe when she saw the sign saying that it was closed ‘’Snow day’’ was written on a menu card. So Lexa turned around to head home when she saw something walking towards her, well someone. It was Clarke. Lexa’s jaw dropped and she stood frozen in her place, whilst Clarke walked towards her.  
‘’Clarke?’’ Lexa mumbled, looking at her ex-girlfriend who hadn’t changed at all. Clarke was wearing some kind of beanie and it suited her well.  
Clarke stopped just a few inches away from Lexa when she smiled at her. ‘’Hi’’ she said.  
‘’I hope you didn’t come all the way from Boston for hot chocolate’’ Lexa said surprised.  
Clarke shook her head ‘’No I didn’t’’ she said laughing at Lexa.  
‘’I moved back here, yesterday’’ Clarke said.  
‘’Really? That.. That’s great’’ Lexa said confused.  
‘’I’m actually back at the art institute’’ Clarke said with a smile. ‘  
‘’What? Are you kidding me?’’ Lexa asked surprised. Still staring at Clarke, because she was caught by surprise.  
Clarke nodded at Lexa, still smiling. ‘’That’s amazing’’ Lexa said, honest.  
‘’Yeah..’’ Clarke said.  
‘’Thank you’’ Clarke said, looking at Lexa.  
‘’I didn’t do anything’’ Lexa said confused.  
‘’You did everything. You accepted me for who I am, and not for what you wanted me to be’’.  
‘’I just wanted you to be happy’’ Lexa said, while holding back her tears. ‘’That’s all’’.  
Lexa looked away trying to fight her tears, but she couldn’t and Clarke noticed that. She took a few steps towards Lexa and pulled her in for a hug. Lexa embraced Clarke and in that second she knew how much she had missed her and didn’t fight her tears any longer.  
‘’It’s okay’’ Clarke whispered before pulling back from the hug to look at Lexa for a second. Clarke scanned Lexas face for a second before she leaned in and kissed Lexa, like it was their last moment on earth. Lexa got lost in the kiss and all her old feelings for Clarke came rushing to the surface. But she got sucked back to reality a few seconds later, so she pulled away ‘’I don’t understand..’’ Lexa said more confused than ever.  
‘’I remember’’ Clarke whispered in Lexa’s ear. ‘’Everything’’ Clarke stated.  
Lexa looked with disbelieve at Clarke, realizing what just happened. ‘’What?’’ she was on the edge of losing it. ‘’You..’’she mumbled.. ‘’You remember?’’ she asked with tears in her eyes.  
Clarke was in tears too now and looked at Lexa, she nodded ‘’Yes..I know.. I..Made you’’ she tried to finish her sentence, but was interrupted by Lexa who kissed her like never before. Clarke welcomed Lexa and kissed her back, all her memories came flooding back to her. Lexa had never felt this relieved before ‘’I’ve missed you so much’’ she whispered breaking their kiss for a second.


	8. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was never sure if I should've written an epilogue for this story. I just decided to go with it. I hope you like the ending ;)!  
> Sorry for typos.

Seven years later.  
‘’Clarke are you coming?’’ Lexa asked her. Clarke was always slow somehow before leaving to pick up Sara. It was their usual routine, Lexa calling Clarkes name ten times.  
‘’I’m almost done!’’ Clarke yells from upstairs. Lexa laughs at the sound of her wife. Clarke made her happy everyday of her life. Surely they had been through a lot, but nothing could tear them apart anymore.

Lexa her thoughts were interrupted by Clarke who was standing behind her before Lexa realized it. ‘’Boo’’ Clarke said teasingly.  
‘’You scared me’’ Lexa said teasing Clarke before turning around. Lexa pulled Clarke closer and pulled her in for a quick kiss.  
Clarke kissed her back. But she pulled away when she realized what time it was ‘’Shit’’ she said out loud.  
‘’Language missis Woods’’ Lexa said teasingly. This made Clarke laugh ‘’Sorry wifey’’ she said before winking at Lexa.  
‘’You’re forgiven’’ Lexa said jokingly before motioning for her and Clarke to leave.

They got in their car and drove off to pick up Sara. It was about 30 minutes later when they arrived at Sara her school. Lexa parked the car near the school. ‘’Alright. Let’s go’’ Clarke said, after checking the clock.  
‘’Yes’’ Lexa said with a smile before getting out of the car. Clarke got out as well and walked over to Lexa. Lexa reached for her hand before walking towards the gate of the school.

They were waiting for Sara to come out of school when Lexa started talking. ‘’I’m so glad you remembered everything again, all these years ago’’ Lexa said.  
Clarke turned around to face her wife ‘’ me too’’ she said before leaning in for a quick kiss.  
‘’You’re the best thing that ever happened to me. I just didn’t remember back then’’ she said teasingly.  
‘’You were a pain in the ass’’ Lexa admitted, not even feeling sorry for saying that.  
‘’I really was’’ Clarke said laughing at her wife. ‘’Yet you still loved me.’’  
‘’Always’’ Lexa said proudly. ‘’You’re my everything, Clarke.’’

Clarke and Lexa their conversation was interrupted by Sara who came running towards them. ‘’MOMMIESS!’’ She yelled at them. Clarke and Lexa turned around to see their beautiful daughter running towards them.  
‘’Sara, honey’’ Clarke and Lexa said at the same time.  
Clarke and Lexa pulled their daughter in for a hug when she reached them. ‘’You’re happy little one’’ Clarke said with a smile.  
Sara nodded at her mother ‘’Yes’’ she said.  
‘’How come?’’ Lexa said with a grin.  
Sara turned around and pointed at a dog at the other side of gate ‘’DOG!’’ She mumbled.  
Lexa and Clarke smiled ‘’Did you pet her?’’ Lexa asked.  
Sara nodded ‘’Yes. It was so soft mommy..’’ Sara said with a smirk on her face.  
‘’Can we have on as well?’’ Sara asked.  
‘’We don’t have the time for a dog’’ Clarke said.  
‘’Ehm, Clarke. I don’t care. Let’s get a dog’’ Lexa said with a grin before turning to her daughter ‘’Do you know a name?’’ she asked.  
Sara nodded ‘’FISH!’’ She said with a big smile.

\- The end -


End file.
